Success is SIMPLE, not easy!
What’s logic have to do with love? Maybe nothing.
What logic has to do with lasting love? Maybe everything.
My logic-based approach is based on Stoicism, CBT, Taoism, Zen Buddhism and sports-psychology. Vigorously studying ancient texts, and applying them to modern times helps me empower you in your romantic connections in ways that are logical and lasting. You, nor I, are the first to ponder these questions. We can, however, use ancient wisdom in combination with modern evidence-based practices to navigate love in a way that works in our modern world.
While love doesn’t have to be logical, an illogical love is destined never to last—it’s just lust.
For example, dating apps enable your brain to create a persona from the profile you stared at. This is natural since our brain hasn’t evolved for this type of technology. You then empathize with this persona that looks like the pictures in the profile, even before meeting them in person– without seeing how they acted before or after that picture was taken. There are Buddhist meditations where you undergo long periods of eye-gazing to grow feelings of compassion, trust and empathy. Modern psychology also describes this phenomenon.
Now back to the picture you’ve been gazing at for hours everyday: when you meet the match in person your “tinder meditations” have grown feelings akin to a Buddhist meditation. If we don’t use secure sound logic, we can then be used by the apps and the savages that lie just to f*ck. Your brain sees him cuddling with a dog and ascribes kindness to him, but meanwhile you never even saw how he treats the dog when the cameras are gone.
If all you want is to f*ck that’s okay, but oftentimes, the real want is a committed, lasting relationship. Yet the “feels” created by these “tinder meditations” are not based on real data and therefore are not real. Then you’re led through cycles of situationships because of “feels” that do not have any logic data behind them.
“Feels” without any facts puts us in miserable situationships, not relationships because they were illogical from the start. Meanwhile you grow old and gray and miss real relationships, by being busy holding doomed ones and nurturing them in the hopes that they will become what you wish for.
If you are in a relationship, a similar situation can occur, because the bonding hormones that made you relate and trust the person you’re with are still at play; and oftentimes, only when the honeymoon phase is over, you see things that were invisible before–but were really always there. I use logic to help you effectively problem-solve these situations and to bring the trust and lust back.
“For if you know what you want, and will be content with it, you can be trusted. But if you do not know, your desires are limitless and no one can tell how to deal with you. Nothing satisfies an individual incapable of enjoyment.”
Alan Watts